How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Enjoy the penises
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
