Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
