Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
