Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
