Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
