apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
