You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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