Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
