But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Help. Why am I so naked?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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