i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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