woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
