He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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