I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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