His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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