oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
only if we run a train.
done.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Drake has all the answers
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
