He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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