why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
