i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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