Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
