Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
