Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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