He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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