i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
