Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
