I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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