What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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