This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
