Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
