dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
