It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize