If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
