Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
