Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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