I think my vagina is haunted
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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