Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The Olympian is in my bed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
