the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize