she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize