Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
