Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
