Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize