Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need water and some morals
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize