i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
PANTIES FOUND
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