I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
