Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
