The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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