You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
