...so i touched it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
