At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
