everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
