She's JV to your varsity
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
