if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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