like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
