Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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