JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
