i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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