Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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