Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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