Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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