this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize