i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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