my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
