spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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