Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
