I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
