Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
