Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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