Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize